I want to be well prepared for my brush with celebrity, so I've been reading up on Ms. Ripa, trying to find common threads and big contrasts I can use as conversation-starters. Here's what I've dug up so far:
- Kelly is four years, one month and 22 days younger than I am.
- She's from New Jersey. I'm from Long Island. When I first read that she hailed from New Jersey, I had a flash of hope that we'd have some Tri-State-area bonding. That hope was short-lived. She's from the part of New Jersey that's near Philadelphia.
- Kelly performed in theater productions at her high school. I played in the pit orchestra in theater productions at my high school.
- In 1990, Kelly joined the cast of All My Children, a popular ABC soap opera which was shot on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. In 1990, I lived on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, about six blocks from the studio where AMC was taped. Therefore, it is safe to assume that we may have thumbed through the same stacks of CDs at the now-defunct Tower Records on 66th and Broadway, seen the same foreign films at the Lincoln Plaza Cinema, or waited on the subway platform together at the Columbus Circle station. Oh wait - TV stars didn't take the subway in the 90s - they had town cars waiting outside for them at all times. Scratch that last one.
- Kelly won a quarter of a million dollars for charity on a celebrity version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. I've never been on an actual game show but spent many evenings at home shouting out answers while watching Jeopardy! with my father.
- Kelly and her husband Mark Consuelos have two boys and a girl. I have two boys. Parenting stories always go over well. Maybe we can compare notes on mothering tween boys. I wonder if her kids also jiggle her belly fat before bedtime as a comforting goodnight ritual? Oh, wait...belly fat...probably not.
- Two things over which I know we will not be bonding: workout tips and hair advice. I will never have arms like that. And clearly we have nothing in common when it comes to our manes. Mine: shaggy and temperamental. Hers: well, you've seen it. Neither shaggy nor temperamental.
- She's got an outie, which many people have witnessed (in these bikini shots). I have an innie that never sees the light of day. Maybe if I had paparazzi with telephoto lenses following me I'd be more motivated to get into bikini shape.