Saturday, February 6, 2010

Top 10 reasons the next Kelly Ripa Cake-Off for a Cause should be in Los Angeles (Countdown to Kelly Ripa, day 3)

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Three days to go until Kelly Ripa's Cake-Off for a Cause, where I'll be one of 15 food bloggers decorating cakes with Kelly Ripa and Buddy "Cake Boss" Valastro himself, all to benefit the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund:

I'm actually flying to New York a few days early to see my mom and my darling niece and nephew. Except that there's a huge snowstorm in the east - have you heard? So when I actually get to New York today, or even if, is, ahem, up in the air.

So, today's post. Remember the top 10 list from a few days ago on what not to say to Kelly Ripa, penned by my hilarious friend Rachel, who blogs at Inside the Kaganoff Kitchen and The Not-Quite-Daily Dispatch? She's at it again, and she's angling for Kelly Ripa's next cake decorating contest to move west. Kelly, are you listening?

Top 10 reasons the next Kelly Ripa Cake-Off for a Cause should be in Los Angeles instead of New York

10.  Kelly Ripa looks much better in a bathing suit than she does in a parka.

9.  Everyone knows that Los Angelenos are more friendly than New Yorkers and are therefore much more likely to share their cake with their neighbors (as soon as they go over and finally meet them).

8.  It's much more difficult to transport a decorated cake on the subway than it is in a car stuck in traffic.

7.  In Los Angeles there's no danger that falling snow will cause delicate cake decorations to bleed.

6.  Mayor Bloomberg has been conducting a clandestine cake bakery sting operation in New York that will soon put all of the cake bakers in the five boroughs behind bars. Carmine "Junior" Persico was heard to say "Let them eat cake" just before they took him into custody.

5.  No one eats in Los Angeles, so there's no danger that anyone will have their cake and eat it too.

4.  Rehab Malibu is the location of the world's premier cake addiction facility. All forms of insurance accepted.

3.  Access Hollywood has agreed to highlight whichever cake decorator most successfully replicates the outfit Lady Gaga wore to the 2010 Grammy awards in frosting.

2.  Contestants on this season’s The Bachelor promise to pre-enact their wedding-cake-cutting ceremony using the official cake of the Kelly Ripa Cake-Off for a Cause.

1. You can award cake decorators extra points for constructing a cake that will survive an earthquake.

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